One of the very lovely ladies in my SBB eCourse (who only started her blog about a month ago mind you), went to her first PR function the other day (she is killing it already!), and she said she found it to be a really nerve wracking experience – because she felt like a fake. Like she didn’t belong there yet.
And that really hit a chord with me, because you know what, even after all this time (seriously, I can barely remember what life was like BB – before blog), I knew exactly what she meant.
Because I still feel like a fake sometimes too. Quite often actually if I am honest (don’t even get me started on the nausea I had when I scored front row seats to Fashion Week… or the grey hairs I acquired trying to pick the right pair of shoes so I didn’t stand out like a 6-foot-sore-thumb.).
And I know I am not alone. Just Google “impostor syndrome” and you’ll see that us women folk seem to all be running around just terrified that the person next to us is going to suddenly start pointing at us and yelling, “Who do you think you are, you don’t know what you are doing, you don’t belong here”.
It happens to everyone from CEOs of massive multinational companies, to stay at home mums. And it definitely happen to bloggers. And the more I think about it though, the crazier it actually seems for a blogger to feel like they are “faking it”. Because if you have a blog, you’re a blogger. It’s as simple as that. There is no faking it, no grey area. Either you are a blogger, or you aren’t.
There is no degree you need to complete first (although taking part in a blogging course can be useful), there is no set of previous experience or skills required. If you love to write and/or take photos, you have a topic you are crazy passionate about, and you know how to Google, then that is all the pre-requisites required to be a blogger.
So what is it that we feel like we are faking?
I did a bit of a brainstorm as to what some of these negative Nelly inner voices could be saying, and I think I have come up with the three main ones (and what we need to do about it!)
1 – My blog isn’t good enough, or successful enough.
It’s is kind of a weird psychological thing I have noticed, but if you feel that way right now (no matter what it says in your Google Analytics), then you are probably going to still feel that way when you have 1 million followers, or 10 millions. It is just the way our pesky brains work.
If you are an “It’s not good enough… yet..” person, then even when you hit those elusive goals you are day dreaming about right now, you will just move the goal posts again (in fact you’ll probably move them just before you hit them, so you don’t get to celebrate at all, that’s what I did!). Then no matter what you achieve you will still feel that there is something else you need to do, or be, before you can feel like your blog is successful “enough”.
This is something I am very guilty of.
What can you do about it?
One little trick I have picked up to combat this particular form of internal nastiness is to get into the habit of celebrating all your wins, big or small!
For myself I have written down a big long list of goals I would like to achieve, some are not that far away (maybe it’s for the first time you get more than 5 comments on a post?), others might take a bit more time. But I have this list saved somewhere I can check it regularly, and I also have a list of rewards that I will give myself when ever I hit one of those goals. It can be something as simple as taking the afternoon off to just relax, or having a really nice cocktail on a Friday night. Or maybe it’s something like buying a pair of designer shoes you’ve always wanted. What ever is going to work for you. But just make sure that when you hit those little goals, that you tick them off, and you celebrate in some way. And also make sure that you never delete any of your crossed-off goals, because it is always good to be able to look back at what you have achieved so far.
2 – I’m worried than my in-person self is not as likable or engaging as the sparkly, fun and slightly edited on-screen self that my readers have gotten to know.
This is another one I suffer from, you see I write all day about fashion and beauty and yet I really don’t like getting all that dressed up (I am a skinny jeans and tees girl, and always will be), I also regularly have terribly chipped nails and I’d rather sleep in an extra 10 minutes, than blow dry my hair. So all in all, I often feel that in real life me is never going to live up to on-screen me, who has been cropped from the shoulders up (on a good hair day) and then run through the most flattering filters. So how can real-life un-manicured me compare? Won’t I just be a total let down?
What can you do about it?
Ok, well awesome Instagram filters aside, if you are blogging with your real voice, and you are being generous with your readers and sharing not just the highs, but the lows and inbetweens as well on your blog, then they will have a much more well-rounded set of expectations of you to start off with. Plus, they will probably think of you more as a friend, and real friends are just bloody happy to see each other, and don’t really care if your nails are a little chipped.
So if you are worried about this at all, then the only thing for it is to make sure you are putting as much of you into your posts as you can (and maybe try out Shellac?).
3 – But everyone else must be completely flawless, amazingly organised, and definitely not suffering from the worries and doubts that you are (and that they are looking down their perfectly contoured noses at us for being mere mortals after all).
Firstly, no one is perfect, not even Supermodels (I heard one burp once…!), and as most people are also suffering their own internal battles then it’s highly likely that they are two busy wondering if their shoes look OK, to even notice anything about yours.
And I have heard about the whole “but bloggers are so bitchy” thing. And OK, yes some can be. But that’s all about them, and not you (really, it’s not). And they’d still be class-A bitches even if they were accountants, or astronauts, so there’s not much you can do about them.
What can you do about it?
That’s easy, go and find your posse of awesome, fun and supportive blogging sisters who you can hang with both online and at events.
Because that is what the majority of bloggers are, and the rest are not worth your time to even worry about.
I have been lucky enough to call many fantastic bloggers friends, and most are pretty fun, amazing and welcoming women, who don’t give two-shits about how many comments you got on your last blog post, or how many free lipsticks you got sent that week. The only thing they seem to really care about is if you drink white wine, or red (I drink both!), and there’s nothing fake about that!
Image courtesy of dollarphotoclub.com
Want to make sure you tick off those goals faster than you ever dreamed? Then you are are going to want to click here now!
